How To Get Friends

The university secret.

Say hello to my ultimate weapon of friends-making! (…for those of you who can’t see it, it’s a doorstop with an owl on it).

This sweet little thing cost me 8.49£ from a rather “expensive” store called Homebase. This thing was cost quite a lot more than the other things I have bought so far though, but considering what great use it’ll be, I decided I could afford it with ease. Because, you see, this cute thing is what’s gonna make sure I get tons of friends right away.

Here are the easy steps on how:

1.       Arrive at campus

2.       As soon as you’ve entered your room, pop the owl doorstop on the floor next to the door, keeping it open.

3.       Watch the magic happen.

When this holds open my door, it will make my room a lot more inviting to my other flat mates. Instead of the door being closed, giving of a distinct “frag off, I wanna be alone!”-vibe, they can look right into my little nest and say hi, which should then inspire to further conversation, such as “Oh my, what a lovely room you have!” “I know, right? Lemme see yours!” “Yes, right this way.” “Wow, this is nice.” “Thank you.” “We should like be friends forever.” “Totally. Let’s never let go of each other’s hands.”

And, instead of being just a block of fabric and something heavy in the bottom keeping the door open, this thing got a cute owl on it; it’s fail-resistant!

So there you go, my ultimate secret of how to get friends.