How To

Travel To England

1.       Don’t plan anything, just order the plane tickets and you’re off.

2.       Accidentally meet a Norwegian woman on the plane who recommends a cosy little town.

3.       Rent a car.

4.       Drive to the town using a really bad map printed off of Google.

5.       Get to the town and find out that they have a “regatta day”, so all bed&breakfast/hotels are full.

6.       Walk depressed and hungry along the street at nine in the night looking for something to eat.

7.       Bump into a random Englishman telling you where there’s a cebab place.

8.       Tell him your situation.

9.       Have the random Englishman offer you a bed in his house.

10.   Make sure the Englishman that picks you up is so hospitable that he lets you eat his food at home and pays for your lunch out in the town (which ends up being so big you don’t need dinner).

11.   Spend two days at his house, not having to spend any money at all on food/bed.

12.   Drive to Southend to settle into the house you rented for the year.

 

Voila, you saved money and have a very interesting memory for the rest of your life.